Thoughts About Dreamwork with Central Alberta Cree
Personal Involvement
Although I started with a largely professional relationship with my Native students and coworkers, it has evolved in some cases into a personal relationship. Although these personal relationships have gradually grown a series of events coincided about a year ago which significantly deepened my relationship with Ravenwoman's family. Coincidentally, during her sisters (Crowwoman) last weeks I traveled to India to meet with the Dalai Lama for a week with a small group of scientists to discuss sleeping, dreaming, and dying. Crowwoman was excited about my trip and read his autobiography before I left. The dying Crowwoman felt a strong draw to this world renowned spiritual leader. Surprised that she was still alive when I returned, I gave Crowwoman crystal prayer beads that the Dalai Lama had blessed. Within a day of my return she slipped into a near coma and died a week later. Two weeks before I left on the trip my 16 year marriage broke up in no small way due to my various levels of involvement with Crowwoman's family. Thus I found myself upon my return with children only half the week (as we had agreed to literal joint custody) and felt a void. Crowwoman had been raising her daughters sons and although her daughter took over their care during Crowwoman's last months she was/is ill prepared for the task thus I have become a sort of surrogate mother/grandmother to them.
I suppose this all sounds very commendable on the surface and certainly the liberal "do-gooder" in me was attracted to this new role. But the reality of being deeply involved with Native children who come from a multigenerational highly dysfunctional family has only hit home more recently. To elaborate, Crowwoman was a middle child of 11, Ravenwoman was the first born daughter. Their father was alcoholic, and their mother was rigidly Catholic and authoritarian. Crowwoman was beaten and raped as a child, beaten by her mother and father, and raped by a young friend. In adulthood she was beaten and raped by her husband. She did drugs and alcohol with him. They had three children; she had a fourth child out of wedlock with another man. Her children have been struggling with their legacy of abuse and their own problems with drugs and alcohol the consequences of which have now rippled onto Crowwomen's grandchildren. Although Crowwoman's daughter has recovered from her drug and alcohol abuse and is not violent, neglect is a major problem with her parenting. I find myself caught trying to be there for her children without rescuing them too often. On top of this the oldest boy, Ret, had only known Crowwoman as his mother and acting out his grief about her passing. I have struggled with transference issues with both Ret and Crowwoman's daughter. We are all clearer that I am not Crowwoman, I am their friend. These are the primary relationships I have with this family but I continue a close personal friendship with Ravenwoman and am also quite close to another cousin, June. With many of the rest of this family I have a positive relationship but we are not as close.
One of the marker experiences of my acceptance into this family was when Ravenwoman's youngest sister called me one day with a dream about Crowwoman. Gena said, that Ravenwoman wasn't at home when she'd called to ask her about the dream so she thought she would call me.
So how do dreams figure into this highly complex web of family relationships? As in other Native families with whom I have come into contact, dreams also play an important role in this one. From the dreams/visions of Crowwoman during the last weeks of her life to dreams of her by the various family members since her death to dreams about other aspects of their lives.
Regarding Crowwoman's death, in her last weeks, she wasn't always "here". This 49 year old Cree woman was in and out. Her family felt she went to the spirit world and then came back time and again. Crowwoman would say something when she woke/"returned". Sometimes it seemed her comments were completely out of context. This Native woman knew things. She knew somebody was coming. She brought messages from the dead. Near the end Crowwoman had a powerful vision of all the races of the world. In her vision she saw that we had very few years before it would be too late. In this vision she was with the grandmothers and was allowed to stay for two years to advise her family and friends. The Old Man said he had only seen this 2 or 3 times in his life - she was a messenger.
Since her death many family members and friends have had dreams of Crowwoman. Geoff, The Old Man's son and a shaman in his own right, kept having dreams of Crowwoman and called for a Ghost Dance to contact her. Ravenwoman dreamt shortly after her death that she saw Crowwoman dancing in radiant joy with pearl bracelets around her ankles. Her grandson, Ret, dreamt that she was in a body bag in his mom's closet and that there was a way for her to come alive. I too have had a powerful dream of her since her death. The dreams and visions vary from person to person but what all seem to hold constant (white and Native) is the "reality" of these dreams as visitations by Crowwoman with specific messages.
But I am also part of the day to day dialogue in the family involving dreams. So for instance, the other family member to whom I am close, June, dreamt of being with a very attractive man. We talked about her concerns about physical beauty in processing the dream. What's clear is that dreams are as much a part of daily conversation in all aspects of the family system as cooking dinner. Although I knew intellectually how deeply they were regarded and had some feel for it with my students the depths and pervasiveness of this it has been driven home by my personal involvement with this family system.
Go to: Dreams and Social Action Among Natives
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